Today is a new day, a new year, a new decade. It’s a time when we set goals, make resolutions and yes even reflect on the past.
As a student of life, I have always believed we live in the hear and now. Edna Mode said it best when she said “I never look back, darling. It distracts from the now.” I believe in being present in the moment is key. When you look back it can cause you to stumble and fall.
So does that mean the past is not important? No, it is very important our past makes us who we are. It shapes and models us but it does not define us.
Releasing the pain
This year has taught me some very valuable life lessons.
It taught me that to grow you will have to go through some growing pains. These growing pains will bring heartbreak, they can and most likely will shatter the illusion you have of people and they most certainly will show you your true friends and who truly loves love you.
I learned this year that people can be cruel. That someone you call a friend and trust can tear your heart out and leave you bleeding. This year showed me people are not always who they claim to be. That much like the serpent in the garden of Eden who lured Eve with sweetness to bite the apple, someone lured me in with their kindness. I like Eve made a mistake trusting them and turning myself inside out for them only to be left heartbroken when I did not live up to their vision of who I should be. At that moment I learned how cruel someone could be. My heart was shattered by their attitude, their words and their ability to turn the situation around so that they came out looking like the victim.
This realization really shook my foundation and left me broken and added to the darkness I was already feeling with the long health battle I had been fighting and the financial struggles I was having. In the end, I chose myself, my joy and my peace over their drama.
With everything that happened this year from a fatal health issue that I prayed I would never have to fight again. Financial struggles that left me making choices I never thought I would and the knowledge that someone I trusted could be so cruel I could have crumbled into a pile of broken pieces. In truth, no one would have blamed me if I had.
However, I have chosen to forgive, to let go and to find my joy and my peace. Forgiving the person who hurt me isn’t about them it’s about me finding joy and peace in my life. Going through everything I have in 2019 did not leave me broken it left scares but it taught a valuable lesson. I am enough, I am worthy of love and true friendship and I can grow from this adversity. I may be scared and bruise but I am also brave and beautiful and this is who I am. A strong, loving, kind and forgiving person who chooses joy, love, and peace over pain.
I am choosing finding joy in the sadness, light in the darkness and the beauty in the broken. Letting go means I can move forward into the life that is meant to be.
Word of The Year
Going into the new year I have chosen the word Release. I have chosen this because I chose to release all the pain. To release things that don’t bring me joy. Release people who are not true or kind. I above all I release my life and my dreams into God’s hand and let him do his work in my life.
What is your word for the year?